I Can See Clearly Now the Rain is Gone
by lovejag
Summary: Starts after Adrift part 1. Its finished. Please read and review.
1. Prologue

"I Can See Clearly Now the Rain is Gone"  
Prologue  
by Rita Widmer  
  
Rating: I guess PG, I'm not into swearing and stuff  
Synopsis: Sequel to "The Kiss". Takes place after "Adrift part one".  
Mac contemplates her relationship with Harm, and how to face him   
again.  
Disclaimers: JAG does not belong to me, but the plotline does. Any   
original characters are my imagination which I highly doubt there   
will be many.  
Spoilers: ALOT!!!!!!! I will name them in each part.  
Author's Note: Today, July 10th, is a day I will always look back to   
10 years ago. My cousin, Nikki, was killed in a car accident on this   
date in 1991. She was only 21. Her death marks the date of my deep   
depression growing out of bounds. It took 9 years before I was able   
to come out of it and learn to love myself. Now at age 21, I have   
learned to love life and live to its fullest. The day of her   
funeral, it rained constantly until just before sunset. The rain   
stopped, and the sunset was the most magnificant ever with a huge   
rainbow. For many years the title song of this fanfic was dedicated   
to her. Now I'm lending it to Mac.  
AN 2: This is a songfic in the rest of the story. All disclaimers   
and spoilers will change to fit each part. I would still love a beta-  
reader.  
  
Now to the story...  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
1130 Est  
JAG headquarters  
Falls Church, VA  
  
After the party left the restaurant, they headed to headquarters to   
await news of the search for Harm. Sarah "Mac" Mackenzie stood at   
the window watching the rain pound against it. Her tears long ago   
been dried up.  
  
After Mic had come in to see how she was doing earlier that evening,   
he cancelled the wedding...  
  
*"Sarah, you are in love with him?!" Mic stated more then questioned   
as he took her into his arms as she cried.  
  
"Mic..." she tried to deny it, but something stopped her. He could   
feel her nod against his head.  
  
"Its okay, luv. I will settle everything, and tell everyone of the   
cancellation of the wedding."  
  
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it to end up like this. You know that   
I love you."  
  
"Yes, I know, but it is not a love that can allow marriages to work."  
  
She pulled back, and gave him a weak smile. "I need to be alone."  
  
"I'll go tell the others of the change of plans."*  
  
She would not see him for the rest of the night. In her heart, she   
knew it was for the best. Mic had to straighten out his heart before   
facing her again.  
  
*********************************  
  
1145 Est.  
JAG headquarters  
Falls Church, VA  
  
Bud watched Mac as she stared out the window. He knew she wanted to   
be alone, but they had just heard from the search crew. Her wedding   
was cancelled, and Harm was missing in the deep blue ocean. Her   
thoughts, he knew must be going out of control as she figured out   
what to do next.  
  
Harriet had gone home to be with AJ. He knew she would have the   
right answer on how soon and how to tell Mac the news. It would   
throw all her thoughts out to the wild, and not answer any of the   
questions that were needed.  
  
After he talked to Harriet, he had the answer. Mac should have the   
right to decide how to react to Harm's search. He walked to her   
office, and quietly entered the room. "Ma'am, I uh I have some news   
on the Commander."  
  
She opened her eyes slowly to find the rain had stopped. It had just   
turned midnight. "What is it, Leiutenant? Please no sugar coating.   
Just tell me the straight out truth."  
  
"They have him, ma'am. He is very sick with Pneumonia. The   
heliocoptor is taking him to Bethseda." He answered, and then left   
the room to allow Mac her privacy.  
  
After he left, Mac slumped down in her chair and cried.  
  
To be continued......  
  
  
AN 3: I know it is short, but it is a prologue. I hope you   
enjoyed. Don't worry I plan for some great moments coming up. 


	2. Remember You, Remember Me

"I Can See Clearly Now the Rain is Gone:  
Remember You, Remember Me"  
Chapter 1/5  
  
Summary: The aftermath of Adrift part 1. What are the reactions of Harm and Mac? Using 2 of my favorite songs to help describe it.  
Disclaimer: I do not own JAG. It belongs to CBS, Paramount, Donald P. Bellisario, and cast and crew. The song "Remember When" belongs to Rupert Holmes, writer. Also to Patti LuPone, Mary Stout, and Amanda Naughten(on the CBS morning show w/Mary) who each took turns singing it.  
Author's Note: Each chapter name is a line from the song "Remember When". I'll give you a link to find the music later on. I'm having trouble finding a good recording. This story is dedicated to my cousin, Nikki. This is a sequel to "The Kiss", but it can be read on its own also. Don't worry in the end I will get them together, but you just have to be patient. I am 100% shipper!   
Rating: PG for adult situations.   
Spoilers: "We the People", "Stalker", and "People vs. Rabb". All spoilers are for only this chapter. I will name each spoiler group for each one.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Remember you, remember me,  
and all those dreams come true  
that never came to be.  
The foggy lights of distant nights  
now shine so clearly,  
and I can hear your voice  
as if your mine and near me.  
What might have been  
can live again:  
I'll meet you then,  
if you remember when.  
Remember when.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bethseda Hospital  
May 26  
Harm's room  
  
Colonel Sarah "Mac" Mackenzie sat looking at the only man she would ever love. Everyone had left to get some sleep, but Mac knew that it would take a 1000 marine recon teams to be able to get her out of there. He was the last hope she had for the future she wanted. Her head told her she didn't deserve the love of this man, but her heart told her that love never has to do with it being deserved it had to do with predestination.   
  
Meeting at the Rose Garden of the White House was out of a romantic movie. It was a magical moment as their eyes met for the first time. That smile he had given her had made her weak at the knees. She had hoped that someday that the effect would wear off, but over the years it only grew stronger and so did her love.  
  
Over time her mind had tried to tell her that smile was not for her, but for her secret twin that she had never met. Whoever the lady was Harm still loved her and wouldn't let go of her. Somehow they had grown together in faith over a short amount of time. He had found enough trust in her to want to help her uncle. Dalton, Colonel Farrow, Chris, nor Mic probably would never have helped her uncle the way Harm did. Harm believed in her, and that faith went towards those that were dear to her.   
  
Maybe being Diane's twin helped build the bond that came out of that first case by allowing Harm to open up to her, because he almost felt like he knew her. He had always been there for her even in the past months after Sydney. He may have been distant, but for some reason his just being around gave her comfort.  
  
At one time, she thought maybe Dalton could be the love of her life, but he had used her to get information. Then he was shot, and died in her arms. Who else would come to rescue her? Harm showed up right away, and was there for her as a friend and as a lawyer.  
  
Coster took her hostage, and if it wasn't for Harm putting on the tracking signal to her car. She could have been killed or...no she wasn't even going to think that.   
  
Now Harm lay in front of her fighting pneumonia. He had no idea that the wedding was cancelled, and that was there waiting for him to recover so she could tell him what was in her heart. She had to tell him, or she would go crazy, and if he died.......no we're not going there. He is going to live!  
  
"I hope deep down you can hear me, Harm. This maybe the only way I can tell you. Thank you for being in my life. You have always been there for me, and I don't do enough to pay you back for it. I haven't treated you like a best friend since you returned from flying, and I miss it so much. My life would be close to nothing without you in it. I love you, Harm." A tear fell from her face as she looked down on his sleeping form.  
  
*********************  
  
Somewhere deep down Harm those three words that he had been wanting to hear for the last 5 years. His mind though couldn't register who was saying it, but it gave him a peaceful feeling, and somehow a will to fight to get well.  
  
His mind didn't want to be lazy during the time he slept, so it gave him lots of dreams to give him something to think about. He felt like he was on a carousel except for he was not moving and everything was going around him. Their was only two faces popping out. One of them being Diane and the other Mac, or is it just one of them over and over again. Each one took turns telling him the times they had together. He loved both women for different reasons. Diane was his typical girlfriend type. Blonde, sweet, and almost a bimbo. His internal instincts always made him want to protect those he cared about. He wanted someone that would have to lean on him for courage and help.  
  
Mac was not that way, or at least not all the time. She wouldn't lean on him physically, but he knew somehow by being there was somehow an encouragement and strength she needed to get through all her problems. She was strong, smart, and sometimes had that little chip on her shoulder that needed to be pushed off. Then other times she was weak and sensitive and needed someone to lean on. She was very rounded out. Describing her in a few words was not easy to do.  
  
Diane was dead, and Mac was still alive. He knew she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, but now she was going to marry someone else. Even once she had planned how he would propose to her. He would have taken her back to the Rose Garden where they had met so long ago where even in the those first minutes there was a spark between them. Right in the spot where they had met he would have gotten down on one knee and proposed.  
  
Mac had never cared what kind of trouble he got in. She would be there to help him. Even when he was up for murder charges, and had escaped she took him in. All he had to do is tell her he didn't kill the man. She got right to it, and helped free me from prosecution. If there was anything that could never be paid back would be her saving him from being found guilty. Without her in his life these past years, he wouldn't know what would have happened to him. He would have gone on working, but always something would be missing. She gave him the support he needed to always find the truth even when it seemed like everything was blocking his way.  
He could feel her warm presence as he slept. Shouldn't she be getting ready for a wedding tomorrow morning? He hoped that he could sleep through the wedding and maybe the honeymoon to so he wouldn't have to think about what was happening. When he woke up, his heart knew that he wouldn't be able to hold his emotions back. Nothing would stop him from saying I love you.  
  
*******************  
  
Mac looked down, and noticed Harm's arm reaching out for her. She took his hand and squeezed it hoping that movement would give him reassurance that she would be there waiting for him.  
  
TBC  
  
Author's note 2: The next part shall have more plotline. I just had to have Harm dream for a little bit before allowing them to speak to each other. 


	3. And Dreams Come True....

"ICSCNTRIG: And Dreams Come True that Never Came to Be" (2/5)  
by Rita Widmer  
  
Rating: pg  
Spoilers: "Boomerang 2" and "Measure of Men" and "Guilt".  
Summary: The aftermath of "Adrift" part 2. For my favorite shipper couple.  
Feedback: Thank you for all the feedback I have received, and sorry it took so long to get this story out. I hope you enjoy, and I would love to hear if you do or don't.  
  
On to the Story!  
*-Dream sequence  
*************************************************************************************  
  
USS Guadal Canal  
Mac's Cabin  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
* The fog swam around them as she stood in front of Harm. Though she could not see clearly, she could see something special in his eyes. She wore an old Navy uniform of Harriet's.  
  
He drew nearer to her like he was in a trance. His eyes never left hers until she felt his lips upon hers. The kiss was short, but she knew she wanted it for the rest of her life. The only problem was he was not kissing her.*  
  
Mac woke up with tears running down her face. It was always somebody else that had Harm's heart. If it wasn't Diane, it was Annie, Jordan, and now Renee. Could he ever love her?  
  
****************************************  
  
"I would give her up." Harm turned around to find Mac had left the cabin. A chance at a dream was lost again. He ran after her wanting her to hear his answer. He came to a quick stop when he saw her talking with the Gunny. She walked away with only a short good-bye.  
  
****************************************  
  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, VA  
After Harms finds out about the Consulate and Mac  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harriet and Bud entered Harm's office wanting to offer their comfort. Harm sat with his head in his hands. All he could think about was that she was going to die without knowing his feelings for her.  
  
"Sir, she will be all right. Like she always says 'I'm a Marine. I can take care of myself,'" said Harriet.  
  
That brought a flicker of a smile to Harm's face. He had to believe in Mac, and trust Gunny to protect her six.  
  
******************************************  
  
USS Guadal Canal  
Mac's Cabin  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mac turned off her phone after saying good-bye to Chloe. It felt good to talk to a child, and know that she hadn't destroyed her life.  
  
She so wanted to call Harm, but her heart and mind were arguing once again. The mind said no while her heart begged her to call. Even if she would call, he probably was busy with Renee.  
  
"You have someone who will always love you," Mac heard from her subconscious. That was enough of an answer for her. She picked up the phone again, and hoped Harm would answer. At the last second she heard the phone come on.  
  
******************************************  
  
Harm's Apartment  
North Union Station, VA  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As Harm unlocked his door, he could hear the phone ringing. He wanted to let the answering machine get it, but decided to answer instead. When he picked up the phone something told him it was his Sarah.  
  
"Sarah? Are you all right? I was so scared when I heard the news."  
  
"Harm, take a breath. I'm fine. I just needed to hear your voice. I'm sorry that I scared you."  
  
"Don't be. I'm this way only with you."  
  
"I suppose I should be flattered."  
  
"You should, Sarah."  
  
Then it hit them both that those words were once spoken before on a ferry in Australia. They now took on a new meaning. Maybe dreams do come true.  
  
TBC.......................soon. 


	4. And I Can Hear Your Voice

ICSCNTRIG #3: And I Can Hear Your Voice...  
by Rita Widmer  
  
Archiving: All other parts can be found at fanfiction.net. If you   
need the parts you can also email me. If anyone wants to archive just   
send me a note saying where I can find it at lovewenn@hotmail.com.  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: Capital Crime, Answered Prayers, JAGathon, Enemy Below.   
There are references to other episodes, but they don't tell anything   
about the episode.  
Feedback: PLEASE!  
Author's Note: I'm really almost done. I have the last two parts   
planned out. I just have to write it down, and I got alot of free   
time with school being done. Hope you enjoy! Get ready for total   
shippperness.  
  
**********************************************************************  
***************  
  
USS Seahawk  
During "Enemy Below"  
Mac's thoughts  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Ma'am," said Bud, trying to get Sarah MacKenzie's attention.  
"Yes, Bud," she answered.  
"Commander Rabb asked me to give you this book if there are   
any problems with flying his mission." He handed over the book to   
her.  
"The Alchemist?" Mac asked, surprised. `I wonder why he   
would give me it.'  
"Ma'am, I believe he wrote something at the end of the book."  
"Thanks, Bud. Excuse me. I'll be above the flight deck."   
Once she arrived she took out the book and started to cry. He was   
finally ready to let go. It had been building since the JAGathon she   
realized.  
  
*******************************************  
  
The Park  
After JAGathon  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The smile she received was worth the risk she had taken. She   
gave him the brightest smile she could muster, and they both knew all   
was right in the world at that moment.  
"How would you like to join me for dinner tonight?" asked   
Harm.  
"Only if you allow me to use your shower to clean up. No   
meatless Meatloaf please!" she answered.  
"You wound me, but you are welcome to use my shower."  
"You've got yourself a deal."  
  
*******************************************  
  
Christmas Eve  
After Answered Prayers  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mac was shocked with herself to say the least. Somehow the   
kiss under the mistletoe was kept simple and sweet. Her feelings for   
him were not allowed to slip out that time. She did that twice too   
many times over the years. The kiss though was proof of the pure   
friendship they shared. Just maybe one day he will let himself love   
me with all his heart.  
The phone ringing broke her out of her reverie. Picking it   
up she said, "Sarah MacKenzie."  
"Hey Mac, would you mind if I bring a guest tomorrow. He   
would really like to see you."  
The total happiness in his voice didn't escape Mac's   
ears. "Of course, Harm. He must be really special to make you so   
giddy," she teased.  
"Believe me he is very special, but you'll have to wait until   
tomorrow to find out who he is."  
"Now you've got me wondering. I'm just glad its not another   
woman. Can't you even give me a little clue?"  
"Nope. I'll see you tomorrow." He hung up before she could   
protest anymore.  
  
******************************************  
  
Christmas Morning  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mac opened the door in her favorite pajamas. She always had   
a thing for cowboys. Outside stood a man she thought she would never   
see again. "Se--rgi,"' said Mac in shock.  
"How is the beautiful Colonel?" asked Sergi.  
"Wonderful after seeing you." She threw her arms around him,   
and gave him a hug. As she did so she noticed Harm standing around   
the corner. He had the biggest flyboy grin she had ever seen. "Come   
here, Flyboy. Join us, this should be a group hug." And he did.   
When they pulled apart, Harm had the oddest look in his eyes. To Mac   
it was a look of pure love, and he was looking straight at her. When   
Harm noticed her gaze, he blinked and the look went away.  
  
******************************************  
  
JAG Headquarters  
During Capital Crime  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mac watched Sturgis leave her office. She never felt so   
afraid in her life. If Harm ever heard about her little confession   
it would mean the end of everything that was dear to her. She could   
just see him rushing into her office.  
"How could you do it?" he would ask softly, but the anger   
would be evident.  
"What do you mean?" she would play innocent.  
"Your confession to Sturgis. Hasn't he bugged us enough   
about a nonexistent relationship. Then you have to confess your   
feelings for me. He will never believe that I don't love you now."   
He would walk out, and probably ask for a transfer, or at least a new   
partner. Then he would never talk to me again unless it is for   
business reasons.  
She just hoped that Sturgis would keep his promise to her,   
and if he didn't he may regret ever making that slip when he spends   
months in therapy after kicking him to Africa and back. It may not   
get Harm back, but at least she would be able to know that she had   
her Marine strength to fall back on. No one probably would blame her.  
  
*******************************************  
  
USS Seahawk  
During Enemy Below  
Harm's thoughts  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harm stood watching Mac deep in thought as she stared out   
into the ocean. As soon as he was debriefed, he went to find Mac as   
soon as he could escape. The last few months had been stressful for   
both, but he found that as long as he was by her side that the world   
was perfect. Just the thought of her made him feel relaxed. No   
longer did he have to worry about Mic and Renee destroying their   
friendship. Finally his heart had been willing to admit his love for   
Sarah MacKenzie.  
*******************************************  
  
USS Patrick Henry  
During Capital Crime  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He hung the phone up after talking to Sturgis. The phone   
call reminded him of a night that he would do anything to forget   
about. He knew it was because of Mac that he had survived in the   
ocean. She was the reason why he could not allow himself to give   
up. His heart beat for only one reason, and it was for her. Sarah   
MacKenzie was the love of his life. He had saved her so many times   
over the years of their partnership.  
  
********************************************  
  
Later  
Same place, same episode  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harm had been resting in his quarters when he heard this   
sorrowful plea calling out. It was Sarah MacKenzie, but she was not   
there. Her voice was as clear as crystal for him.  
"...Because I'm in love with him...You have to keep that to   
yourself. Ok. I mean it Sturgis." She sounded so desperate like   
she didn't want him to ever know the truth of her feelings towards   
him. Didn't she realize that he returned those feelings?  
`Of course not! How can she know? You never told her or   
tried to show it.' His subconscious answered his question for him.  
  
*******************************************  
  
USS Seahawk  
Still during Enemy Below  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ever since that day the connection he felt with Mac had been   
growing. More and more he was able to figure out what she was   
thinking when she was trying to hide something from him. He tried   
over and over again to tell her how he really felt. All he hoped for   
was that it was not too late.  
This connection allowed him to keep him from getting on her   
bad side more then once. Even wearing the abaya he knew she was   
sure. She still looked beautiful even all covered up. It stopped   
him from arguing about her going into Afghanistan with only Clay by   
her side. He knew it wouldn't do any good. They needed proof for   
the Tribunal.  
Also in the desert moon, he knew that she needed an   
invitation from the heart for her to risk cuddling up to him. He   
wanted it as much as she did, and was willing to giver her what she   
wanted. That night he was prepared to tell her he loved her. If the   
bomb attack had not happened he would have right there and then.  
His mind had wandered off to far to realize that Mac was   
watching him with tears in her eyes. "Did you mean it?" she asked   
softly to get his attention.  
He knew instantly she meant the message in the book. His   
mother had sent it for him for Christmas. While reading it that he   
was on his own journey, and it all was leading him to her.   
Everything that happened from the trips to Russia, his and her   
leaving JAG, and even the trip on the ferry had led them to this   
point.  
"Harm, if you only meant it to comfort me just say so. I   
will understand," she spoke and started to leave when she felt his   
grip on her arm then into his arms.  
"Sarah, my journey in life has led to this moment. No longer   
do I want to keep these words inside my heart. I love you, Sarah   
MacKenzie, for eternity."  
She pulled away slightly to look into his eyes. There she   
saw the love for her shining, and she returned the look. "I love you   
too, Harm." They were almost kissing when there was a clearing of   
the throat behind them.  
"Sir, Ma'am, the Captain needs to see you on the bridge ASAP."  
  
TBC 


	5. What Might Have Been

ICSCNTRIG #4: What Might Have Been Can Live Again  
by Rita Widmer  
  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to CBS, and Bellesario Productions.   
Archive: Sure go ahead. It's still on fanfiction.net, but we all know how well that is working lately. If anyone needs old parts just email me and I'll send them to you.  
Feedback: It surely would be nice. I got very little after the last part.  
Spoilers: Enemy Below, In Country, Adrift part 2, and Goodbyes.  
  
*************************************************************************************  
  
USS Seahawk  
After Enemy Below  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Their conversation had not been mentioned again. The news about Bud had startled them both. At this time they were waiting for transport back to the U.S. where Bud was being transferred after having been stabilized.  
Mac repeatedly ran through her conversation with Harriet after hearing the news. It was one of the hardest conversations she ever had. "Harriet, I have some bad news about Bud," Mac told her after the regular greetings.  
"Ma'am, Bud, oh god, he is..isn't dead?" asked Harriet.  
"No he isn't. He's being transferred back to the U.S. While he was in Afghanistan, he stepped on a land mine and lost his leg." She heard a sob before she continued. "Harriet, please call either Sturgis or the Admiral. They won't mind coming over."  
"I don't know Ma'am. I can't loose him!"  
"Harriet, he'll be all right, but you need to stay strong for him and little AJ. Getting upset won't do any of you any good. Do I need to make it an order for you to call someone?"  
"No, no Ma'am. I'll do it."  
"Good. Harm and I will be home soon. I'll call when we arrive."  
"Thanks, Ma'am. Good-bye."  
Mac hung up the phone, and looked over at Harm who was looking deadly pale. "What's wrong?" she asked as she put her hand on his arm.  
Before he answered her, he took her in his arms and held her tight. "Why him? Why did he have to go through this? He has a wife and a kid waiting for him. This shouldn't happen to a man like Bud. I step on a mine and I survive with barely a scratch, and he looses his leg."  
Mac pulled away and look straight into his eyes daring him to look away. "Don't you dare blame yourself for this. You have so much to do before your time is up. At least Bud has had it all."  
"A great woman, a great career, and lots of comfortable shoes?" he tried to ask trying to lighten the mood, and it almost worked if he hadn't said it so longingly.  
"Yes, plus a whole family that loves him and many great friends." She could feel tears gathering in her eyes as she thought about that saying long ago that still hasn't happened in her life. She had opportunities, but none ever worked out.  
  
********************************************  
  
Mac's Apartment  
Couple of days later  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mac flopped down on her couch thinking about the scene she witnessed that day in the hospital. The memories of what happened when Harm had gone down with his plane into the ocean were still holding on to the surface.  
Harm walked up handing her a cup of coffee. For awhile they were lost in their own thoughts. Then slowly they started to talk about nonsense things that were allowing them to get to know each other again as friends and more. The friendship came easier now that they were able to say the words though they had not acted upon them yet. When they were ready they would take the next step.  
"Do you remember anything of my visit to you in the hospital? I know you were still unconscious, but for some reason I could almost feel that you knew what I was saying to you," asked Mac.  
"I finally had felt at home when I heard you talking to me. I knew I was where I belonged. As long as I'm by your side I can do anything."  
Mac was surprised by his honesty and candor. Their was no holding back from his true feelings. Maybe saying the words was enough to allow for everything else to open up to her. Her tears were threatening to fall, but Harm wiped them away with the back of his hand. "I had to go see you one more time before I left for the USS GuadalCanal. I needed to know you were all right."  
"I'm so glad you came in to see me. For awhile I thought I would never hear your voice again. When I was so close to dying out in the ocean, I knew I had one important thing to live for, and that was you. You are the reason my heart still beats today. If it wasn't for you my world would have been gone. I may not have died physically, but emotionally I have come so close to loosing it, and you were there for me."  
"I had to, Harm. I couldn't live my life without you. As long as you were near I could hide how I felt about you so you never ran away from me, but that didn't stop you from doing so. I tried to show my feelings that day in your office, but it made you only more willing to leave without even having me in your heart."  
"Sarah, I was not leaving you. I was leaving JAG and only JAG. When I came back I was hoping that I could regain your love and friendship. I wanted to hope that you were waiting for me to straighten out another ripple in my life."  
"Then why couldn't you have just said so. All I needed was to hear the words, or even see some tears appear in your eyes showing that you would miss me while you were gone." This conversation had finally hit a point that she still couldn't deal with. She got up from the couch and went over to the window. She couldn't look at him now.  
"We need to talk about this if we ever want to move past this awful past couple of years since I came back from flying."  
"I can't Harm. Sometimes love is just not enough."  
"It can be. I hope what might have been can live again one day, Sarah. I'll be waiting." He walked towards the door when he heard her soft voice whisper his name, "Harm."  
  
TBC................. 


	6. If You Remember When and Epilogue

"ICSCNTRIG Conclusion: If You Remember When"  
By Rita Widmer  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the show or the characters. They belong to Bellisario, CBS, etc. The story is mine. The song "Remember When" from the title belongs to Rupert Holmes.  
Archiving: Sure just tell me, and you can have it.   
Feedback: I would greatly appreciate it. I haven't received much on the last couple of parts, and I love to hear the good and the bad feedback.  
Spoilers: Impact, People vs. Rabb, Second Sight, Stalker, People vs. Mac, Boomerang II, Yeah, Baby, Good-byes, Return, Adrift part 1, Mr. Rabb Goes to Washington, and Rules of Engagement  
AN: Well I finally have the last part written of the story, and I hope everyone enjoyed it. Thanks to the wonderful Rose Garden for giving me the info needed for the conversations. Next project is to rewrite a JAG story called "Old Habits Die Hard" and move onto another new story idea that deals with McCarthyism. If someone has info on the military during this time please write me. Epilogue is at the end.  
  
On to the story...cont'd from part 4  
  
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Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harm slowly turned around to look at her. Eyes met eyes, and each drew strength from each other to continue. He walked up to her and took her in his arms. They knew all they needed was each other.  
  
"Maybe I am ready to have this conversation, because all I want is to move forward. I do love you, Harm," said Mac.  
  
"I love you too," answered Harm. They moved to sit down on the couch. "Where do you think it all went wrong?"  
  
"I used to believe that it was when you left for flying, but recently I have come to the conclusion it was when I left. The Admiral had me doing all this paperwork instead out doing investigations, and at that time I felt like he was telling me that I was no longer wanted at JAG. Dalton was offering me this opportunity that was hard to turn down especially when I felt so unwanted at JAG. The Admiral made it much easier decision for me to leave. You were also pushing me away."  
  
"I didn't want you to leave, but I needed to push you away if you did leave. I thought it would make it easier when you did decide. I thought this way I wouldn't feel like I needed you, but soon I did realize just how much you were needed. Never did I question my coming to you."  
  
"I'm glad you did. I remember thinking maybe one day this man could love me as much as I love him."  
  
"While in Russia, I realized you would always be my life savor. I don't know what I would do without you."  
  
"And you are mine. That's why I reacted so badly to you leaving for flying. Already I had lost three people in my life, and know both you and Chloe were leaving. It was too much to take so close together. I never felt so alone while we watched Harriet and the new baby go off in the ambulance."  
  
"What I never understood is why you never told me about your ex-husband. I would have understood if you had just explained to me what happened."  
  
"Maybe I was hoping that they would make a new law where if you are separated from your husband for long enough time period then you get a common law divorce. It was never going to happen, but I couldn't make myself draw up the papers. I wanted to forget everything about my life before I joined the military."  
  
"Why did you go to Farrow?"  
  
"You were too busy with Bobbie. Plus I felt that he needed to know what was going on. I couldn't let him go on in suspense when the truth might have come out about our past relationship. It seemed my past was bubbling up everywhere that year."  
  
"Didn't you know I would never have stopped loving you, because of your past?"  
  
"I hoped, but when you left for flying I gave up trying to convince myself that you still cared. I felt like I had lost my best friend. It was all my fault."  
  
"No it wasn't. I should have been more supportive, and not pushed you away when you came to ask for help. Why didn't you tell me about your promotion?"  
  
"Because I wanted someone happy for me. I didn't want to read it in an email. It seemed as fake as the ones I was getting from the people at JAG. No one was happy for me not even Mic. You were my last hope, and the person that I wanted to be the happiest."  
  
"And I acted just the opposite. I gave you a stiff congrats instead of giving you the big hug you deserved and a true congratulations. I'm so sorry for that."  
  
"I don't blame you for what happened. I should have told you in an email or something. I really didn't expect anything from you, but I was holding on to a fairytale dream."  
  
"I stopped believing in those when I came back from flying, and no one was happy to see me. Sydney was the last disaster of hope for dreams coming true. It wasn't until I found out the whole wedding was canceled that I believed in dreams again."  
  
"I was so happy to see you again. I was too scared to let myself let you back into my heart, because you might leave again. My head was determined to let you do the fixing of our friendship."  
  
"I have been a total screw up with you the last couple of years. All I had to let go of my fears, and tell you how I felt, and none of this heartbreak would have happened."  
  
"It can stop now. Together we can fight our demons, and find happiness with each other."  
  
"If I could I would go back to Sydney, and change what I said. All I really wanted to do then was tell you I love you, but I couldn't."  
  
"And I should have never accepted Mic's ring."  
  
"Yes you should have! He gave you so much happiness after all the heartbreak I gave you. If that ring did that for awhile then all the pain I went through was worth it. Just answer one last question. If I hadn't gone down in the ocean, and I made it to the wedding, could I have convinced you not to marry him?"  
  
"Yes, but slim. You would have to convince me what we have is forever. When I had Mic giving me forever losing it wasn't an option."  
  
"I promise you will never be alone again."  
  
He took her in his arms, and kissed her. Pulling back he whispered, "I love you."  
  
TBC in Epilogue down below.  
  
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"Epilogue: ICSCNTRIG: Remember When"  
by Rita Widmer  
  
JAG Headquarters  
Mid-December  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harm was so excited. He was just told of a new case that was offered to Bud. With Bud's permission, he was going to ask for it to be reassigned. His dreams were finally going to all come true. He knocked on the Admiral's door lightly, and entered after hearing permission.  
  
15 minutes later, Harm walked out with the largest flyboy grin on his face. He had gotten it reassigned to him and Mac. Mac was gone for the rest of the day in Norfolk. He had all day to plan what he was doing.  
  
******************************************  
  
Mac's Apartment   
That evening  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mac and Harm had been together for almost 6 months, and Mac was starting to feel a little impatient. She wanted to move this relationship forward to a new level. She wanted everything with Harm.  
  
The knock at the door made her jump. The only person that knew she was home was Harm. She opened the door to find Harm standing with one arm full of files, and the other with flowers and their dinner. Shooing him into the kitchen she went to put the flowers in a vase.  
  
When he came out again, he had a pout on his face. She laughed at him.  
  
"Is that how you greet the man you love?" asked Harm.  
  
"No that's how I greet a man with his arms full. There was no room for me in there."  
  
"Well now my arms are empty." She ran into his arms and kissed him thoroughly.  
  
"Does that make you feel better?" asked Mac.  
  
"Oh yes! You should go away more often. How about tomorrow with me?"  
  
"We have a new case? Where are we going?"  
  
"Yes, and we are going to Sydney."  
  
The fear in her eyes mad him even more convicted to change all those bad memories to perfect memories that she will never forget. They spent until the middle of the night studying, and finally he went home to pack.  
********************************************  
  
Sydney, Australia  
2 days later  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Mac, make sure to wear something really nice for tonight. I gotta show off my girl." Harm said through the connecting door between their rooms. She only had one outfit to wear, and it was the same as that first ferry ride. Tonight was the night he was going to make their dreams come true.  
  
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Sydney Harbor  
Ferry Boat  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mac and Harm walked onto that famous boat, and Harm started the conversation like he did that first time. "In any language, what man understands a woman?"   
  
"You're referring to me? Oh, let me guess, you don't understand why I was at the beach with Mic."  
  
"That opera house is beautiful isn't it?"  
  
"Smashing. So, what bothered you, that I went to the beach with Mic or that you thought I was topless?"   
  
"You weren't?"   
  
"Harmon Rabb! You're a prude!"   
  
"I am not! Look, I don't care if you wanna go topless."  
  
"You do if it's in front of Mic."  
  
"You work with the guy Mac! You wouldn't go topless in front of me would you?"   
  
"Is that a request?   
  
"You know they wrote eternity on this bridge on New Year's Eve?"  
  
"Is that how long we're going to wait?"   
  
"No Sarah, that's how long I want to be with you. Will you marry me? Please say you will," asked Harm as he got down on one knee.  
  
He held out a beautiful ring, and she whispered, "Yes, Harm. I will marry you, and we will have eternity together."  
  
THE END 


End file.
